Probably the best negotiator I have ever met was a seven-year-old from Canada named McKenzie. She ran a real hard line when we were debating over how many S’mores were too many for a 65 lbs child about one hour before bedtime.

Knowing that I was very new in this parental guide situation, McKenzie took me for everything I had out by the campfire that night.

1.     She knew my motivation:

• I wanted her to go to bed so that I could hang out next the lake with the fire blazing and talk with the group.

2.     She knew my quantity:

• Like an idiot, I had brought out both stacks of chocolate. We had enough out there to feed a fleet of Girl Scouts.

3.     She knew my emotional commitment:

• Like most Aunts, one would hope to be a good one. Since I’m not around a lot the phrase, “sure, anything you want” arises from guilt somewhat frequently.

4.     She knew the win here was to not only walk away with the quantity she wanted, but with the terms too:

• Enter in the debate about what the actual time was that one would be going to bed that night. 

The negotiation lasted for days (in my mind) as she slowly picked away and grinded at my reason as to why not this or that. Sometimes offering stats, “we usually go to bed around 10 during vacation and it’s only 8”. Sometimes offering antidotes, “but my Mom would definitely let us have 4, she did last summer.” Sometimes she pulled at my emotional heart strings, “but if you really loved us”. (By this time, that was in question.)

Oddly, not much is different in negotiating a home sale. Here are some basic things to consider while you fine-tune this area of your craft.

1.     Negotiating is emotional for your client; it should not be for you. When you talk to your clients about what they want, it’s possible that their emotional lava cake is going to goo all over you. When you go to the other side to set terms or price, don’t bring the goo with you.  

2.     Be very clear about what is most important in your client’s requests. Have them prioritize it for you.

3.     Dig to see what the motivation is for the other side and develop a strategy that speaks to that. If you can, find out their expectations from the deal as early as possible.

4.     Remember that terms can tip scales. If you give in to one part of the negotiation, you might get more in another part.

5.     Don’t say more than you need to.

6.     If a huge request comes from the other side, don’t react to it when speaking with the other agent. Say you’ll talk to your client and get back to them. The other agent is going to know it’s big to ask. So, take your time (if timelines allow) and don’t tip your client’s hand before you speak to them.

7.     Remember that this isn’t about you. It’s about your client. Getting into a personality fist-fight with the other agent isn’t going to help anyone.

8.     Get it in writing.

9.     If you need to deliver an unreasonable request from your client to other side, understand that’s your job. Whether you agree with it or not, if your client wants a request communicated, you must do it as part of your fiduciary duty and negotiate on their behalf to the best of your ability. (Unless, it breaks laws or code of ethics).

10.   Remember, that the best negotiations often have both sides compromising. Some more than others.  

I’ve heard of million-dollar deals falling apart over a $500 repair. That happens when agents allow the game to get ahead of the goal. Emotions and the need to be right overcome the intent. Your job in negotiating isn’t to be the most winning-est agent. It’s to get your client into, or out of a home at the best terms and at the best price that the market will allow. Learning to take your ego out of this part of the job will save you a lot of problems in the future.

Last Christmas I was in a really tough negotiation where both seller and buyer couldn’t come together on an initial selling price. After four counters, it looked like we were in deadlock. It was my buyer’s turn to respond and they weren’t willing to budge on price.

“Let’s just let it expire then”, my client said in frustration.

That’s what negotiating fatigue sounds like. (Learn to recognize and advise regardless of it).

I suggested, “Or, you go back at the same price and make THEM say no to 1.1 million dollars. I would think that would be hard to do since he’s been on the market a few months.”

So, we signed the exact same addendum and set it back with a new expiry. This wasn’t about ego. Negotiations are about motivation, emotions, terms, demand and quantity. We knew he needed to sell. He was stuck on the market. We were closing fast. In the grand scheme of it, the price distance wasn’t THAT huge of a leap.

 

He accepted and we moved forward.

I’m telling you this short, non-descriptive story to show you that:

a)     It doesn’t pay to get emotional.

b)    Stay strategic.

c)     Keep your focus on what the client is asking you for and don’t get lost in the details.

 

There are about a go-zillion books about negotiating out there. Some talk about being the most winning agent. Some talk about getting the most for your client. I would suggest the latter as your focus.

What tactics have you learnt that have helped your client? I’d love to hear them. Leave a comment below.

Until then, chin up, keep your feet moving … and burn the white flag.

sz

  

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